The 16 Identities We Create to Compensate for a Wounded Inner Child

As human beings, we are not linear or two-dimensional creatures. We are all multi-faceted and have multiple parts that make up our psyche.

The identity our wounded inner child creates has a positive intent: To protect us.⁣⁣

Here are some common protector costumes:

1. The Perfectionist

2. The People-Pleaser

3. The Rebel

4. The Hyper-Independent

5. The Strong One

6. The Humorist

7. The Overachiever

8. The Hoarder

9. The Addict

10. The Control Freak

11. The Conflict-Avoider

12. The Bully

13. The Put-Together One

14. The Self-Doubter

15. The Nice Guy/Girl/Person

16. The Shy One

For example, being sensitive or expressing emotions of fear or sadness were not supported when I was growing up and considered a sign of weakness.

So I put on the costume of The Strong One and The Hyper-Independent. I felt like I had to show that I never get scared and that I don’t need anyone and can take care of myself.

Or as a young teenager, I slowly started to feel my attraction to women, but I felt way to ashamed about that to admit that I was queer.

So I put on the costume of The Addict and took a lot of drugs and partied hard to drown out feelings of loneliness and depression that came from suppressing a lot of my emotions and shame.

I could share many more of these examples, because I had a lot of protector costumes in my closet. Eventually, I was initiated onto my journey of awakening and becoming conscious, which also led me to heal the parts that my protectors were trying to protect. Over the years, I have been able to take many costumes off and become the me that has been there all along.

Doing the work to heal our inner children and our past traumas is one of the most important work we can do. It might be a tough and painful ride, but it’s the only way we can become truly whole.

(This is atomic essay #19, which is part of 30 Days of Writing #Ship30for30)